I have started a creative project entitled HerStory. I wanted to take beautiful photos of beautiful women, showcasing their strength and power amidst whatever trauma and adversity they are facing or have faced!

We all have a story to tell. We all have life experiences that we felt alone living. But the fact is, we are never alone. All it takes is for SOMEONE to start talking. We, as women, can band together and help each other through anything. 

First up is Toula, detailing her breast cancer journey. Please take the time to read. <3

"You always hear “you never think it’ll be you until it happens”. I was noticing things and feeling off for a while. I had tenderness, pain, and a lump I thought was just a cyst that was becoming more and more pronounced. I had an ultrasound and then called back for another and then called for a biopsy. All that and I was still utterly floored by my diagnosis. At 43 years old and otherwise completely healthy I was faced with a stage 3 breast cancer diagnosis.

The next few weeks were a blur of tests to find out what we were dealing with and if it had spread. I knew my lymph nodes were affected but luckily I was clear everywhere else.

I met with my surgeon who gave me options. I could opt for a mastectomy, radiation and breast reconstruction once I was in the clear or do four months of chemotherapy followed by a lumpectomy and lymph node removal and then radiation. Initially I was set on mastectomy and reconstruction but after meeting with the plastic surgeon I was completely overwhelmed by the magnitude of the procedure and how painful the process would be. I elected to proceed with the second option and started my journey.

For some context, I’m a mom of three with a full time career and in the midst of a separation when I was going through this. I had to break the news to my kids before they started to see the effects of my treatment. They took it better than I could have imagined and after answering their questions and giving some reassurance, we were able to move forward.

I started chemo in June, almost two months from when I was diagnosed. After the second treatment I started noticing my hair starting to fall out. I vividly remember the day I called my hairstylist to ask her to shave my head. It was the same weekend as my kids’ soccer tournament and I had to put on a brave face for them even though I was completely devastated. My hair was so much a part of my identity and I felt like I wasn’t myself anymore. To this day I still tell people that losing my hair was the worst part of having cancer for me…and yes I know how shallow that sounds.

I completed chemo in September and after a month of recovery, I had my surgery in October. Recovery wasn’t terrible…within days I took my kids out trick or treating because I didn’t want to miss out on anything with them. After a biopsy of the tumour, the surgeon wanted to go back and remove some more tissue just to be sure there was no further concerns so had a second surgery in December. I kept thinking I’m so glad to have it out of me.

A month after my second surgery, I began radiation treatment. I had daily sessions for 19 days. It’s wild that you don’t feel a thing while you’re getting the treatment but it’s literally burning you from the inside out. The unfortunate side effect was some pretty nasty burns that I now have the scars to show for it.

About two months after the completion of my treatment I had another mammogram and ultrasound and finally received the news I was waiting to hear. I was officially cancer free. There are no words to describe the relief that brings. But along with it is the question marks. What if it comes back? I constantly second guess every ache and pain I feel and it’s really easy to let the paranoia take over.

I’m now in the maintenance phase of my treatment. I take several medications to reduce the chances of recurrence and will likely need to remain on meds for the rest of my life. Those come with their own side effects…like a crash course in full blown menopause…but whatever I need to do to remain healthy is what I’ll do.

To say this has changed my perspective of life is an understatement. When you learn that your days may be numbered you seriously evaluate what you want those days to look like I no longer complain about aging and gray hair because they are both such a privilege to get to experience. I find the positives and practice gratitude every day. I firmly believe a negative mindset manifests itself physically. I’ve reevaluated what I want to nurture and what no longer has a place in my life. I’ve run out of F’s to give, I invest in who invests in me. Maybe it’s a result of my diagnosis, maybe it’s part of getting older, but it’s such a freeing feeling. More and more I realize I’m entering a new and exciting chapter in my life and I’m eager to see what it has in store."